Never Again
by lakergirl4life
Summary: When you've let go once, you never want to let go again. Lainey & Stan


Lainey groaned when it started raining and flipped on her windshield wipers. The trip to the salon she made earlier today now seemed pointless. The parking structure in her apartment complex was undergoing construction and she had to use the lot across the street. Maybe the rain would let up by the time she got home. Lainey slowed down when she noticed someone with their hazards on by the side of the road. Lainey laughed softly when she noticed it was Stan. Lainey rolled down her window and leaned over the passenger seat, "Jason doesn't pay you enough to pay for AAA?" Lainey asked.

"I'm trying to figure out if I want to check underneath the hood or just call someone," Stan said. He was just about to check out the problem when it started raining.

"Hop in, I'll give you a ride," Lainey offered.

"Thanks," Stan said. Maybe he could have Max send someone out to tow his car or something. He climbed out of his car and into Lainey's. "Nice car. This must've set you back." Stan brushed the rain off his jacket and wiped his face.

"Yeah, well – there are some things a woman shouldn't skimp on," Lainey said. The first thing she bought herself when she got her job at GH was a new car. The second had been a shopping spree at her favorite shoe store.

"It's an upgrade from that old Buick you used to drive," Stan said. Lainey had been estranged from her parents while she was in grad school and had refused to take any money from them, even it meant the car she drove barely worked.

"Oh – don't' even go there," Lainey warned. So maybe her car hadn't been the most glamorous car, but she didn't get wet when it rained. "At least I had a car. You used to ride around on that old Suzuki."

"Hey, my bike was reliable – sometimes it was more reliable than your car," Stan pointed out.

Lainey shot a quick glare at Stan then turned her attention back to the road, "Maybe," Lainey said. "But it's my car you're in now – so I really don't think you want to insult my old Buick."

"Right," Stan said. It didn't escape him how quickly they fell into easy banter. They'd always had great conversations. Communicating had never been the problem for the two of them. Both of them had always been very clear about what they wanted and what they were capable of giving. Unfortunately, those turned out to be different things.

_"What? Lainey, what do you want from me?" Stan asked. "You wanted to move in together so we moved in together. I've never cheated on you - I have no intention of cheating on you. What more do you want from me?"_

_"I know you're faithful and I am too. But, I want more. I want a commitment. We've been living together for over a year and have been dating for almost four. Where are we going with our relationship?" Lainey asked._

_"So what, you want me to ask you to marry you?" Stan asked._

_"Yes. No. I don't know," Lainey said. "I want to know it's a possibility. I want to know if we're moving forward or - " Lainey paused and shook her head. "Or if it's even worth it to try. I want to get married, not now - but I want to get married. Start a family and - " Lainey shook her head again and started crying. "I do want that to be with you, but if it's not gonna happen then - "_

_"Don't," Stan said, walking over to Lainey, framing her face in his hands. "Baby, don't say it, don't even think it." Stan pulled Lainey closer to him and kissed her. "I love you." Stan lightly brushed his lips over Lainey's. "Forget about everything, just for tonight."_

"So where to?" Lainey asked.

"I live in the apartments over on Forest Lake," Stan said. He looked at Lainey for a moment then quickly looked out the window as she drove him home.

Lainey pulled up to the front of Stan's building, "Here we are," Lainey said. She'd been back in Port Charles for about two years and wondered why they didn't cross paths more often. Sometimes she saw him at the warehouse or the hospital if he stopped by to see his mom. They always stopped to talk for a few minutes to catch up, but they hadn't had a real conversation in years. She remembered the first time she saw him after moving back to Port Charles.

_"Thank you Dr. Quartermaine," Lainey said as she left his office, shutting the door behind her. She took a deep breath and smiled, heading for the elevator._

_"Lainey?" Stan asked as he saw her walk past the nurses station._

_Lainey turned around, "Stan - hey," Lainey said. She knew Stan was back in Port Charles and she figured she'd run into him, she just didn't think it'd be today._

_"Everything okay?" Stan asked. He hadn't seen her in a while and now here she was - at the hospital._

_"Oh - yeah," Lainey said. "I was just finalizing some of the details for my new job. I was hired as a staff psychiatrist."_

_"Congratulations," Stan said. He wasn't surprised that Lainey was moving back to Port Charles. He was even less surprised that she was hired here. GH would be crazy not to hire her. He wanted to ask her to go out to celebrate, but was afraid she'd say no._

_"Thanks," Lainey said. "I - I should probably get going. I have a flight in a few hours." Lainey hit the call button on the elevator, 'It's good to see you."_

_"Yeah - yeah, you too," Stan said. "I - I'll see you around."_

They never made plans when they ran into each other, not even the superficial ones like saying they should get together for a lunch neither of them knew would never happen. Instead they always said they'd see each other around and told each other to take care.

"Thanks Lainey," Stan said. He hesitated for a few moments and started to open the door when he turned back to face her, "Do you want to come up? We could have a drink or a late dinner and catch up or - "

"Or something," Lainey whispered. She supposed she should be upset that he never called her, but by the same token she never called him. Things weren't awkward when they were around each other. Even after they broke up, things weren't awkward.

Stan closed his eyes for a few seconds, "I miss you," Stan quietly said. "Just - " Stan paused and shook his head. "Just simply being with you."

"You never called," Lainey said. She missed him too.

"Your number's unlisted," Stan said. He'd thought about calling her a few times, he'd even looked her up online but she didn't have her number listed.

Lainey laughed, "That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard," Lainey said. If Stan really wanted her number, all he had to do was ask. And if he didn't want to ask, he had other ways of getting her number.

"Okay, so I could've gotten your number," Stan said. It would've been easy to get her number. All he had to do was hack into the DMV or Sonny's cell phone records or the GH mainframe. Hell, he probably could've asked his mom. "I wasn't sure if you wanted me to call."

"You know what? I don't know what I would've done if you called me," Lainey said. She wasn't sure if she would've gone out with him or if they would've gotten back together or if it would've been a disaster. "Guess we won't ever know."

Stan reached over and touched Lainey's cheek, "It's not too late is it?" Stan asked.

Before Lainey got a chance to answer a car pulled up behind them and beeped its' horn. She knew she should say no, she liked her life - simple and uncomplicated, but she couldn't say no. As much as she enjoyed her life it was painfully boring. It had taken her a while to get used to life without Stan. She wasn't sure if this was a good idea or not. But if there was one thing she knew, it was that she was never going to wonder what if.

* * *

Lainey laughed as soon as Stan let her in his apartment, "You still have this hideous chair?" Lainey asked and walked over to a blue velvet chair. She hated this chair, it was the ugliest chair she'd ever seen in her life. And she wasn't sure why or how, but seeing it put her at ease. She supposed because it was familiar, and maybe because Stan still had it and she still hated it, maybe they hadn't changed that much. But she wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Hey - I love that chair," Stan said and took Lainey's coat. It was a vintage chair that he'd picked up his freshman year of college.

"I know," Lainey said and ran her fingers along the arm of the chair.

"Can I get you anything?" Stan asked. "Water? Coffee? Wine? Dinner?"

"Do you want to order in?" Lainey asked. She hadn't really gotten a chance to eat earlier and now that she was here, she wasn't sure she wanted to leave.

"Chinese?" Stan asked and pulled out his phone. "Kung Pao Chicken?"

_"You do know there are other items on the menu," Stan pointed out. He wasn't even sure why he asked Lainey what she wanted, she always got the same thing._

_"It's my favorite," Lainey insisted._

_"Maybe," Stan said._

_"What do you mean maybe?" Lainey asked. "I love Kung Pao Chicken. The chicken isn't deep fried, it's spicy, it has - " Lainey glared at Stan. "What is so funny?"_

_"You," Stan said. "Maybe it's your favorite, maybe you're a creature of habit, maybe - "_

_Lainey walked over to Stan and kissed him, "Maybe you should stop analyzing me and order dinner," Lainey whispered. "If you're not going to feed me, I'm not going to stay."_

"You know it," Lainey said. Stan nodded and placed their order. Lainey started walking around the living room, re-familiarizing herself with the artwork on Stan's walls and noticing how his taste had changed over the years.

"Thirty minutes," Stan said, hanging up his phone.

"How did you start working for Sonny and Jason?" Lainey asked and sat down on the couch.

"Is my job a problem for you?" Stan asked, sitting on a coffee table across from Lainey.

"No," Lainey said. Technically, both of them worked for Sonny. She was Sonny's psychiatrist and Stan worked on the IT side of Sonny's business. Besides, it wasn't her place to say she had a problem with Stan's job. They weren't together, they hadn't been together in a while. She gave up her say-so when she broke up with him. "Just wondering."

Stan nodded, "You remember Mikey?" Stan asked.

"Of course I remember Mike," Lainey said. He was Stan's old roommate and had walked in on them more times than she could count.

"His brother, Johnny - he works with Jason. When I moved back to town, he mentioned they could use someone they could trust. And the money - they money is good," Stan said.

"Yeah," Lainey said. "It is." Stan smiled at her and she raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Stan shook his head, "Nothing," Stan said. "It's just - " Stan shook his head again. "I just can't believe it's been almost five years." Lainey was the first, last and only serious girlfriend he'd ever had. He wasn't sure he'd ever get over her, but he'd slowly moved forward with his life. He wasn't looking for a serious relationship and made sure every woman he dated knew that from the get-go.

"Time flies," Lainey said. "Or something."

"You don't look a day over - "

"You better choose your next word very carefully," Lainey warned.

Stan laughed, "A day over twenty-four," Stan said. They had been twenty-four when they met. Lainey had been in her third year of med school and he was in his second year of his program.

_"Are you going to buy that?" Lainey asked and pointed to black and white photograph in Stan's hand._

_"No," Stan said. "Do you want it?" He really liked the print, but he didn't have anywhere to put it._

_"Are you sure?" Lainey asked and gestured the photographer at the front of the booth. "He said it was the last one." She'd stopped by this booth the day before but she didn't have any cash with her - and of course there was only one left today. "You were here first."_

_"Go ahead," Stan said and handed it to Lainey, letting his fingers brush over her hand for a few extra seconds. "I'm Stan."_

_"Hi," Lainey said. "I'm Lainey."_

_"Listen, do you want to have dinner with me? There's this great kebab stand by the main stage or we can head somewhere else if you want," Stan said._

_"Kebab's work," Lainey said and smiled. "Just let me pay for this."_

"Good answer," Lainey said.

Stan followed Lainey to the kitchen, tossing their food containers in the trash. "Don't worry about the dishes," Stan said and reached around Lainey to turn off the faucet.

"It's just a few glasses," Lainey said.

"Leave them," Stan said, stepping closer to Lainey. Placing his hand over hers, he set down the glass in her hand, but didn't move his hand.

Lainey leaned back into Stan and she could feel his breath on her neck. This was Stan making his move, letting her know he wanted more than dinner. Ever the gentleman, he was leaving the choice to her. If she didn't want anything more than dinner, she could leave now - no pressure, no questions - only regrets. Lainey turned around and pulled Stan closer and he placed his hands on the counter, one on each side of her. "Are you going to stand there all day or are you going to kiss me?" Lainey asked.

Stan laughed softly and smiled, "Always the bossy one," Stan whispered and kissed her.

"Shut up," Lainey said and kissed Stan again, sliding her hand underneath his t-shirt.

Stan broke their kiss to lift Lainey up on the counter and she gently pushed him back. "What?" Stan asked, his breath ragged. She couldn't be changing her mind, not now. Lainey had a mean streak, but she wasn't cruel. This definitely fell into the category of cruel.

"Bedroom," Lainey said, pulling at Stan's belt. "Now."

* * *

"We okay?" Stan asked as he pulled Lainey closer to him. Lainey nodded and Stan ran his hand along her arm. "You sure? You're quiet."

"Just thinking," Lainey said. "Where'd this come from?" Lainey traced her fingers along a 4 inch scar down Stan's chest. She used to know every inch of his body, but this - she didn't know where this had come from.

"Car accident," Stan said. "Nothing serious, just a few stitches." Lainey nodded and kissed the scar. "Lainey?"

"I'm wondering if this was a mistake," Lainey admitted. The moment she followed him upstairs, she knew she was going to sleep with him. Of course, she could've come up her and had a cup of coffee and left - but that wasn't what either of them had wanted.

"We're not a mistake," Stan said. "We're good together." Stan reached for Lainey's hand, "I'm not talking about this, although - "

Lainey laughed, "This was good," Lainey said. "Really good." Stan gently kissed her shoulder and started trailing kisses along her neck. "I can't think straight when you kiss me like that."

"That's the point," Stan said. "We don't have to think - we're here together, we shouldn't be thinking."

Lainey closed her eyes for a few seconds, "Stan - we have to talk," Lainey mildly protested.

"Right now? Right this second?" Stan asked. "Is the world going to come to an end if we have this discussion in the morning instead of right now?"

"No, but - "

"No buts," Stan said and kissed Lainey. "Lainey, I want you. I've never stopped wanting you. Right now, you're here - in my arms, and that's the only thing I can think about. We can talk in the morning, I promise." He didn't want to over think this, whatever this was. He wanted to let it play out. If they were meant to be, they'd be. If they weren't, they'd figure that out later.

"You never want to talk," Lainey said. "That's the problem, that's always been the problem." Stan never wanted to talk about their problems. He thought if they didn't talk about something, it'd just go away.

Stan sighed and moved his hands to Lainey's face, "Baby, can you honestly say that you want to talk right now? Right this second? Or that you think I don't care?" Stan asked.

"I know you care," Lainey whispered. She didn't doubt for a second that Stan cared, about her - about them. Lainey softly kissed him, "You're right, I don't want to talk right now."

"Me either," Stan whispered, rolling them over. He brushed his lips over Lainey's, before claiming her mouth in another kiss.

"Stan?" Lainey asked as she framed his face in her hands.

"What baby?" Stan asked, moving his head slightly so he could kiss her hand.

"Don't stop," Lainey whispered. "Don't ever stop loving me." She'd spent the past five years without him, she didn't want to spend another day without him in her life. Yeah, she could live without him - the past five years proved that. But she needed him in her life. She needed him to challenge her, to stand up to her, to make her relax and not focus on work all the time. But most importantly, she needed him to look at her like he was right now - like he never wanted to let her go. Lainey pulled Stan closer for another kiss.

"Never," Stan promised. He couldn't if he tried, and man - had he tried. She wasn't just in his heart, she was in his soul. Stan lowered his mouth to hers, "Never again."

THE END


End file.
